Yesterday marked the day that our sweet baby girl has been in this world for two weeks. I thought I'd try to update on what all happened and how things have been going during that time. (warning---this could be another long post!). First of all, there are a couple of things I thought of from our time in the hospital that I forgot to mention in the last post.
Hospital stuff: I forgot to talk about the one "scary issue" we had during my labor. Everything is obviously OK, but this was a big deal to us at the time. See, at some point during labor (I honestly can't even remember WHEN during labor this was happening...), my blood pressure was repeatedly dropping too low. Everytime this would happen to me, it would cause the baby's heartrate to drop in response. This was very concerning to the nurses, which made me freak out, but only a little bit. They finally decided to give me some kind of meds through the IV to stabalize my blood pressure and that seemed to do the trick - both for me and the baby.
I also forgot to tell you how many WONDERFUL visitors we had during our days in the hospital! Obviously, all of our parents were there (including H's dad and stepmom from East TN, whose visit to town that weekend was coincidentally well-timed). My brother and SIL and my three nephews, who were all adorably excited to meet Baby Riley....H's sister....H's "brother/cousin"....a TON of my good friends.....just loads of people who all couldn't wait to ooh and aah over our sweet girl! (We've also had some fantastic visitors since we've been home, which has also been nice!)
The first few days home: We came home from the hospital on Sunday 1/17/10 (the hospital staff said we could go home on Saturday if we wanted to. Um....thank you very much, but NO!). We live literally 2 miles from the hospital, but that drive to our house seemed to take forever. Honestly, those first few days at home are kind of a blur to me. My mom stayed over for the first four nights to help out -- what a lifesaver! It was nice to have an "experienced" hand here, not to mention just having the extra set of hands, period. H was off work that whole first week, too. There's NO WAY I could have done it without both of them that week! Riley decided that her "fussy time" was going to be from about 9 or 10:00pm until about 2:00am that first week. I would go to bed around 9:00 those nights and my mom and H would stay up and get her through that fussy time. That way, I could get up again in the middle of the night and feed her and take over til the next day. It was exhausting, but it worked pretty well. Here is a picture of her first "bath" (she's only getting sponge-style baths at this point):

And speaking of feeding her....
Breastfeeding: So, I was completely unsure of this before I got pregnant....actually, I thought I would really never be interested at ALL in breastfeeding. After I got pregnant, though, H and I had several conversations about it and I did some "soul-searching" over it. I decided that I wanted to at least give it a try. H really believes in the benefits of breastfeeding for the baby and I just couldn't deny the cost-saving aspect of it. I knew before she was ever born that, even if breastfeeding worked for us, I couldn't get too "attached" to it, since I have to go back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave. Anyhoo.... the nurses in the hospital were SUPER helpful to me in learning how to do it. And, I'm happy to say that it has been going very well - much better than I ever expected!! No, if you're wondering, I haven't gotten all crazy "La Leche League" over it or anything, but it is working for us and I'm happy about that. I like it because it's easy...I don't have to mix bottles, or wash bottles or any of that, which is awesome. Especially in the middle of the night! The only thing I sometimes DON'T like about it is that it puts all the responsibility for feeding on me. I always have to be "on" and ready to feed her every 3 hours or so. But, I've overcome that one hitch by letting H or my mom give her a bottle of formula every once in a while, so I can have a break (usually to get some sleep!). And, speaking of the breastfeeding working well, here's how I know it's working.....
Pediatrician visits: We've had two visits to the pediatrician now and both visits have been absolutely FANTASTIC!! I love this doctor so much. He is the same doctor that H went to as a child (which made me think he was going to be ancient, but it turns out he's not!). Our first visit was the Tuesday after she was born. She weighed in at 7lbs, 6oz that day (down only 4oz from her birth weight of 7lbs, 10oz) and she still measured 20" long. He spent a lot of time looking her over and he gave her an "A+" in all regards. He actually spent most of the time talking to us (me) about breastfeeding. He is very encouraging and very down to earth - I love the way he explains things in a real-world way for us! He wanted her to be back up to her birth weight by the next visit, to make sure that the breastfeeding was working. Here's a pic of that first visit:

So, our second visit was a week and a half later, on 1/28/10 (Riley was 13 days old at this point). I couldn't believe it, but Riley weighed in at 8lbs, 1oz!! She gained 11 ounces since our first doctor visit. Wow! She also measured 20.5" long. The doctor came in and asked me how the breastfeeding was going. I said, "OK, I guess." He was all, "What do you mean you GUESS??" I wasn't sure how to take this question and then he just smiled and patted me on the shoulder. He said, "I don't know exactly what you're doing, but KEEP DOING IT, Mama, because it's working!" Phew!! This was so reassuring!! It was exactly what I needed to hear! He checked her all out again and gave her another fantastic report! We had a ton of questions for him and he patiently answered every one. We also wanted to know how important it is to keep her on a strict schedule for feeding.... because everything I've read says she must be eating every 3 hours. But most of the time, once she gets tired and falls asleep for the night, she does NOT want to be woken up to eat! He said it's perfectly OK to let her sleep. He said she'll wake up if she's hungry enough, or I can wake her up if I "need" to feed her. Otherwise, we can go as long between feedings as we're both comfortable with. He explained that the longer it's been between feedings, the more she'll eat, so she'll still get as much as if we were feeding more often.
THIS WAS SUCH A RELIEF! Hooray for letting a newborn and her mama sleep!! :-)
Here's a picture of us on our way to the second doctor visit. It was really cold out, so she got to wear her adorable little "fuzzy bear" cover up thing:
Um....about me: You know how you hear about new mother's emotions being a bit out of control? Well, uh, I've been a textbook example of that these past two weeks! More than anything, I've been completely overcome with love and complete amazement for this precious baby girl. I never knew it was even possible to feel love like this! It truly surpasses anything I've ever known before. And I've been lucky that even on the roughest, most stressful of days (or nights), those feelings I have towards her have never faltered one bit. I look at her sweet little face and I know without a doubt that this is THE greatest love of my life!

Now. Since I was so honest in that last paragraph....I think it is equally important to be honest when I talk about this next bit. So, here goes.
I have had MORE than one "mental breakdown" in these first two weeks. The first came last Saturday, after we had been home for one week. As I already mentioned, my mom stayed overnight the first four nights, from Sunday - Wednesday. Looking back on those days, I think this allowed me to get enough sleep to keep going. We were feeling pretty confident about things, so we tried it on our own for Thursday and Friday nights. H still took the evening shift (aka, at that time, Riley's "fussy time") and allowed me to sleep for a couple of hours until I got back up in the middle of the night with her. I was getting sleep, but it was obviously in 2-3 hour periods, between feedings. This interrupted sleep was NOT something I was used to.
So...fast forward to Saturday. I had a huge mental breakdown. I literally
cried all day long. I couldn't tell you now what got me started, but once I got going, I just could not stop. H and my mom were both great and very supportive -- as were a couple of my best friends who I talked to on the phone. Obviously, I was sleep deprived, exhausted and feeling more than a little overwhelmed with everything. I was feeling like there was no way I would be able to do this; I just couldn't understand how anyone makes it work. I wanted to give up on breastfeeding and just ask my mother to move in with us and be the "night-nurse" or something! Obviously, I didn't do either of those things. I took some time to myself and H and my mom took over for the ENTIRE night on Saturday night, so I could get about 7 hours of
UN-interrupted sleep. That night's sleep did wonders for me! On Sunday, I knew that was just what I had needed! I felt refreshed and I didn't want to give up on everything anymore. Yay!
Since then, I've had a few other breakdowns, but not quite as extreme as that first one. I've done a lot of talking to H, who has been great and has somehow managed to understand what this is like for me. I've also done a lot of talking to some good friends, all of whom have BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT! They all gave me great advice! Things like:
--accept help from anyone who offers
--sleep or nap whenever she is asleep, even if it isn't a "desirable" time of day
--feeling overwhelmed and totally stressed out is NORMAL
--it's OK if I need to just "walk away" sometimes
And, they ALL offered to
come stay at my house overnight and help with the baby if I wanted them to! How great are those friends?? Pretty great, I know!
The rest of our time: This past week has actually been pretty great! H took one extra day off of work on Monday to help me out, but he went back to work on Tuesday. I was very nervous about this, but we did OK. Honestly, it's not the days that are hard -- it's the nights. I have just figured out that I am NOT the kind of person who does well with sleep deprivation. But, I think my body is adjusting. We had my mom come over one more night this week to help from about 9:00pm - 1:00am (so I could sleep), which was a huge help again. And, for at least several nights this week, Baby Riley has done a better job of sleeping at night. WOOHOO!! She still sometimes wants to stay up til 1 or 2 am, but then she's all about sleeping from then until 10:00 the next morning (well, you know, with one feeding in between). So, I just try to follow her schedule, instead of wishing that she'd follow mine! :-)
Overall, things at our house are great! I may LOOK like a zombie most of the time -- I rarely get out of my "stretchy pants" during the day, my hair is always in a ponytail and I never have on makeup anymore -- but it's all OK. I wouldn't trade one day with my little girl for anything in the world.
I love watching her discover this world a little more each day.
I love the way she gazes around the room, taking everything in. You can just see the wonder and amazement in her little eyes.
I love stroking her soft head while she's eating or napping in my arms.
I love the way she feels curled up on my chest and hearing her soft little sighs as she settles down.
I love the way she "smiles," even if it is while she's sleeping. It makes me wonder what she must be thinking or dreaming about.
I love the way she loves to be held close by her mommy and daddy.
I love the way she makes funny faces - ALL THE TIME! See, look, I'm not kidding:

I guess you could say I love EVERYTHING about this precious baby who has changed our lives in so many unimaginable ways!